Speed Bump

Egyptians like driving fast. There is not much to stop them from doing so. Traffic won't slow drivers down. They get out on the open road, and drive as fast as they can whenever they can. Police, from what I have seen, are not pulling people over. Drivers will even go so far as flashing police with their headlights to get them to move out of their way.

The only things that will slow the Egyptian driver are the poor state of roads (and they can be pretty bad), and the occasional or frequent speed bump.

Or speed hump.

Or speed ditch.

They are not uniform.

They are not in standardized locations.

Sometimes you will go kilometers without seeing one.

Sometimes the speed bumps will be a few meters apart.

But you will know when you come to one, as that is when you will finally see brake lights. Traffic comes to a complete stop. Cars crawl over the bump.

Occasionally the bottom of the car will be scraped. The driver carries on.

Too often these bumps will completely surprise every driver. They are hard to see, so brakes are slammed bringing the vehicle from a good 120km speed to an absolute stop in 2 seconds.

But the laws of physics still apply to everyone and everything inside.

Speed bump.

Donkeys don't care about physics. They go where the driver takes them. They share the road with cars.

Donkey carts also don't obey stop signs, if there were such a thing. Or if people would actually obey them.

The donkeys will just pull out in front of oncoming traffic and expect all cars to stop or swerve for them.

Speed bump.

On paved roads, I see lines laid out for lanes. It's nice that someone was paid to put those down, because they serve no purpose. Even on completely empty streets, cars will drift from side-to-side. Our driver has the habit of riding just on top of the line, as if it were a guide.

Speed bump.

Traffic patterns are an interesting phenomenon. Drivers will go anywhere to get where they need to go. Even if it means driving the wrong way down a busy highway.

Or crossing over three lanes to get over the speed bump faster. Even if it means going against traffic.

Or making a U-turn from the right-hand lane without any signaling. Or stopping. Or looking. When that right lane is still five cars deep.

Speed bump.

Throughout Egypt, I have noticed car owners have covers for their dashes and back windshields. I have not seen many actual dashes in cars. Our driver has a rubber cover. I am sure it is to protect against sand (it is everywhere, in case the reader was not aware). Others have faux fur (or real fur?). Back windshield and front. Occasionally, I have seen many cars use plush centipedes instead. Colorful, cartoony centipedes. More so in Alexandria than Cairo, but it appears to be a popular gift for the Egyptian driver.

Speed bump.

The scariest part of being on the roads in Egypt is the thought of driving at night. There are nary any street lights anywhere. The speed bumps are not signed or marked in any manner. Drivers still go fast. They still make their own traffic laws. They drive where they can. They drive as fast as they want.

And there is this prevailing thought that headlights will drain the car battery.

In the middle of the night, on a dark desert highway, you will not see a car until it is right in front of you. Either driver will flash their lights for a millisecond, then turn them off. Just to show the other driver they exist.

And then they go back to complete darkness.

While still driving 150km/hour.

No matter the size of the road, or obstacles that may appear. Headlights are optional, and Egyptian drivers do not opt for them.

It's more jarring when a motorcycle speeds in front of a moving car, also without headlights.

Speed bump.

I was recently on the road driving from Cairo back to Fayum. As I was riding along, I looked at the cars passing by. Many cars in the area are covered with decals. There seem to be many Apple fans. And I am guessing some of those car manufacturer decals are on vehicles not made by those companies.

A small red car passed mine, and I noticed two stickers on the right side.

One was a Heath Ledger Joker decal. Black and white. Had an English quote on it (not “Why so serious?”).

Along the bottom of the side was written the word “Playboy.”

The back windshield had a giant fiery skull. Inside the skull were the words “Break” and “Skull.”

Clearly this person is sending a very particular message to all on the road. Punched home by the final visible decal.

“Baskin-Robbins.”

Speed bump.

Though Egyptians rarely use their headlights, they are fond of using their horns. Weak as they may be, they are a little “hello” from each driver telling others he is there. Or passing. Or forcing them to the side so they can be passed. Or one of the other thousand reasons to use the horn. Eventually, the highway is a cacophony of beeping horns. Rendering them moot. But never mute.

Speed bump.

“Close your eyes and pray to Allah!”

Those were the words given to me by the Egyptian Museum staff member who took me through the city.

And the suggestion for crossing the street.

And everyone here follows that same thinking.

Even with speeding vehicles.

Even with speeding vehicles with no headlights.

Even with speeding vehicles with no headlights coming from all directions.

Even with speeding vehicles with no headlights coming from all directions on an unlit highway.

Speed bump.

Merging traffic doesn't so much merge as it barrels through.

Speed bump.

That Egyptians don't get the sense of lanes and traffic flow is not surprising. This happens in many countries. But added to the fact that headlights are not used either makes for some scary trips. One moment you are driving down a very narrow two lane road. The next, four sets of headlights flash before you. All next to each other. Driving at 150km. Right towards you.

And you cannot be sure their lights will be on the entire time they speed towards you.

Speed bump.